Wednesday, 2 January 2013

Ispace Chapter Five: Elves Invade, Fear Their Wrath

Liliac stepped through the portal between her offices with a smile. Her lovely Smaug was all settled in, and Kellex had organised a short mission while she'd been distracted with the dragon. Normally she wouldn't have appreciated this, but when he and Spyra had brought back a real live Balrog - from the reality with the pancaking Legolas, the one she had visited a while back - Liliac had decided that a little independence was a good thing. Especially if it got her new pets.

There was but one thing that stopped her going totally hyper and setting fire to everything in sight, which was that she was now obliged to report to the Head of Admin on the success of the missions. This was the first time an Agent/Tech team had worked together in the field, and Glorfindel had to know.

The route to the Admin area was long, but not particularly complicated. The main problem with it was that it was all uphill, and also passed through several other departments. Thus the walls changed from deep purple to white, then again on to yellow. Marcus waved to her from his office, and she sighed. That man was far too cheerful. She had no idea how he had become a department head, still less Training, where there were all those young minds to corrupt.

Finally, after one last torturous flight of stairs, she came into the cool green corridors of the Administration section. Stopping for breath, she glanced down and noticed that her cloak was still flipped, leaving her in her role as head of Meaps, not Assignments. Quickly, she removed it and swapped it round, putting the lilac as the lining and the darker purple on the outside, visible. The MEAPS badge rested on her left shoulder, still showing her membership even when she was on Ispace duty.

The girl stepped into the antechamber to find quite a group already there. Sarah had come up from Tech, presumably to make a similar report to Liliac's own. Hethien, her Agent, had also arrived. Liliac wasn't entirely sure why, but it was probably a report on how the new Agents, Pointy and Platy, were faring. There were a couple of older Agents, who gave her a brisk nod. Blibo-san and Malfoyelf were veterans now, recruited at the very beginning. They had, in fact, been assigned permanently as Agents of the Admin sector, a fact reflected by their dark green cloaks.

There was also one more person in the room, and it was her that Liliac went to sit next to. The other girl was obviously not an Ispace member, a fact evidenced by her lack of cloak. As such, she was likely the cause of the delay, and Liliac was one of those people who simply had to know what was going on.

"Hi," she said, sitting down next to the stranger, "I'm Liliac, head of Assignments. I don't recognise you . . . are you from around here?"

The other girl smiled. "No, actually, I'm not. I'm WfR, the founder of -"

Liliac held up a hand. "I'm sorry, you're who?"

The other smiled again. "Sorry, force of habit. I'm Writer from Rivendell. I'm the founder of the EAMA - Elves Against Movie!Arda - of which your leader is a very active member."

Liliac frowned. "Against what?"

WfR sighed. "Movie!Arda. It's Middle-earth as shown in those films that have been causing so many dimensional splits. It's . . . look, do you want me to give you one of our leaflets?"

Liliac nodded mutely. WfR reached into her bag and, after a bit of searching, handed over a sheet of paper. Liliac was about to look at it when the wooden door to Glorfindel's office creaked open and three elves came out. One of them she clearly recognised as Haldir. Of course he would be there, he was the elf with most cause to complain about the movies. After all, they had led to him dying!

The others looked enough alike that Liliac guessed they were father and son, and when one turned and she saw his face, she knew. This was Brunette!Legolas and his father, Nice!Thranduil. It was very rare to encounter them nowadays - the use of Orlando Bloom to play a blonde elf in the films had led to hordes of the fair version, along with his abusive father. Saving Legolas from his father was becoming a full time job for the Ispace Agents. Rumour had it that Glorfindel was looking into creating a new department for that specific purpose.

Writer from Rivendell rose, and then looked back down at Liliac and said, "It was nice talking to you, Liliac. Please remember to look at the leaflet." With that, she led the three elves out through the arch that led into daylight, and off down the mountain.

Liliac glanced at the sheet of paper in her hand. The first words caught her eye, dragging her on to the next sentence. She read the whole thing through twice before folding it away again.

EAMA - Elves Against Movie!Arda: Help fix the portrayal of Middle Earth as by Peter Jackson! Fix hobbit canon! Cheat someone by selling them a scummy pony not worth twelve pennies! Entrap them in a willow tree! Just don't take them to Osgilath! Fix elf canon - kill the Mary Sues! Have Glorfindel ride in Arwen's place! And most of all, don't take elves to Helm's Deep! Join today! *Brought to you by WfR, founder of EAMA. ^.~*

She waited for a moment, thinking, and then started to walk towards Glorfindel's office. Before she could get there, however, a fearful sound split the air. Like a Nazgul screech, but far louder and longer, it heralded something far worse than a mere Ringwraith. This meant an attack by the most hideous of all being was occurring, somewhere, and was occurring in huge numbers.

The fangirls were on the rampage.

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