Wednesday, 2 January 2013

Ispace Chapter One: Train of Thought

Liliac sat in the Assignments office - her office - at the headquarters of the Interdimensional Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Elves and thought. She had just returned from one of the many Middle-earth dimensions. There were thousands of them, ever since a third of the Earth dimensions had brought out the films of Tolkien's masterpiece and let the fangirls in. That was a terrible mistake, and she thoroughly approved of the universe in which any fangirls were put to death.

In the universe she had just come from, Legolas had acquired an Ispace portal generator - they had given him one to prevent him wearing his legs out, once it had become clear he would be moving all over the world no matter what - and was throwing pancakes - no one knew how he learned about them - at everyone he met. Recently, however, he had been captured, and Liliac had sent her best agent, Merrylyn, in to assist the rescue operation, accompanied by Hethien, a trainee who was now ready to operate independently.
That had, as it turned out, been a mistake. Although Merrylyn had been to Middle-earth before, she had never been near Legolas. It transpired that, having come from an Earth on which the films existed, the girl had in fact been a Legolas fangirl. When they had found him, she had called down a horde of others like her from Earth, using pirated Ispace portals to transport them.

The agent in question was now in the custody of the Society's capable Discipline department, and Liliac had no more time to worry about her. Hethien would have to pick up on her mentor's duties.
But, of course, with the lack of experienced agents, that meant she would need to take on an assistant. Liliac made a mental note to check with Marcus in Training which recruits were ready for partner work, and then added another one to ask Mary down in Recruiting to slow down a little. The woman was working too hard.

Liliac's mind wandered off on one of its famous tangents, and she wondered if Sarah down in Tech could come up with a device to cure fangirls of their affliction. The girl was, after all, a genius. She had invented the portal, the cloning machines . . . in fact, there was a rumour that she had caused the beginning of the Society itself. That when she had run the portal for the first time she had strayed into one of the fangirled Middle-earth dimensions and encountered a very disgruntled Glorfindel, who had had his horse stolen by some Mary Sue. After the pair of them had pursued the 'Sue to the Ford and killed her, Glorfindel came up with the Ispace organisation to prevent things like that happening again. Sarah had opened him a portal to an abandoned hollow mountain in the North of Middle-earth, and there he had set up the Society with himself at the head.

But that was, of course, only a theory, and Liliac reluctantly brought herself back to the present. She really had to stop doing that. Sighing, she rose, and headed off to talk with Marcus. It was going to be a long day.

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