The Official Fanfiction University of Discworld was founded twice, eight years apart. At its second founding, the students from the first were written in by the Administrator - but they were written in as they had been nearly a decade before. As the girls attempted to resolve their confusion over exactly how old they were, they faced off against their own vampiric co-students - including one Iplis, who successfully seduced Agent Penny of the PPC - and against Ispace, the Interdimensional Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Elves.
Ispace had a goal: to stop people abusing fictional elves at all costs. Whether those elves were canon characters, OFU students, or Mary-Sues, didn't matter - and ultimately, Ispace launched a full-on attack on OFUDisc. They were driven off, but took one of the students with them - Phoebe, the Death of Fangirls. Phoebe had been friends with Liliac, the Ispace infiltrator, and with Cazzie - but especially with Penny, who now returned to the PPC...
Showing posts with label Background. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Background. Show all posts
Monday, 4 February 2013
Saturday, 2 February 2013
The Protectors of the Plot Continuum
The Protectors of the Plot Continuum, or PPC, is a trans-dimensional organisation dedicated to fighting the scourge of bad fanfiction in the places it hurts most - the fictional Word Worlds of Canon. PPC Agents, from the Departments of Mary-Sues, Bad Slash, Implausible Crossovers and more, step through their blue portals into badfics, record their charge lists, and... rectify the problems. They are the militant wing of the Canon Protection Initiative, and its most visible - and numerous - adherents.
From another point of view, the PPC is a shared fictional universe invented by Jay and Acacia way back in 2002, and since written for by dozens if not hundreds of fans. PPC authors take bad fanfics and dissect them in story form - a form of combined catharsis and entertainment.
From another point of view, the PPC is a shared fictional universe invented by Jay and Acacia way back in 2002, and since written for by dozens if not hundreds of fans. PPC authors take bad fanfics and dissect them in story form - a form of combined catharsis and entertainment.
General Links
The Original Series by Jay and Acacia, which started it all
The PPC Wiki, a treasure trove of trivia
The official 'FAQ For Other People', for if you've had a story killed by us
The Guide to the PPC, for a summary of who we are and what we write
OFUDisc Students
For characters mentioned in the OFUDisc Files
Penny - OFUDisc Student and Department of Mary-Sues Agent
Vemi - (missing) OFUDisc Student and Department of Mary-Sues Agent
Raen - OFUDisc Student and Department of Mary-Sues Agent
Nenya - OFUDisc Student and Department of Multiple Offenses Agent
Kaitlyn - OFUDisc Student and Department of Character Protective Services Caseworker
Reluctant Warriors
For additional characters mentioned in The Ispace Wars
The Sunflower Official - Head of the Department of Mary-Sues
Estelnar - Department of Mary-Sues Agent and Former Tabloid Editor
Kayleigh - Conspiracy Theorist and Department of Bad Slash Agent
Dafydd - Former Department of Geographical Aberrations Agent
Constance - Former Department of Mary-Sues Agent
Narto - Former Department of Geographical Aberrations Agent
Lou - Former Department of Geographical Aberrations Agent (sort of)
Raen - OFUDisc Student and Department of Mary-Sues Agent
Nenya - OFUDisc Student and Department of Multiple Offenses Agent
Kaitlyn - OFUDisc Student and Department of Character Protective Services Caseworker
Reluctant Warriors
For additional characters mentioned in The Ispace Wars
The Sunflower Official - Head of the Department of Mary-Sues
Estelnar - Department of Mary-Sues Agent and Former Tabloid Editor
Kayleigh - Conspiracy Theorist and Department of Bad Slash Agent
Dafydd - Former Department of Geographical Aberrations Agent
Constance - Former Department of Mary-Sues Agent
Narto - Former Department of Geographical Aberrations Agent
Lou - Former Department of Geographical Aberrations Agent (sort of)
Wednesday, 2 January 2013
The Interdimensional Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Elves
ISPCE, or Ispace, is an organisation dedicated to protective Elves - usually at the expense of everyone else. Based out of Ispace Mountain, somewhere in Middle-earth, their operatives travel the multiverse guarding Elves of all kinds from any harm that might come their way. It was founded by Glorfindel of Rivendell, and is currently operating under the (temporary) leadership of Liliac.
In another sense, Ispace is the subject of a story written by me some years ago. It tied in with the epic act of insanity known as Pancakes!, and may be relevant to the OFUDisc Files...
In another sense, Ispace is the subject of a story written by me some years ago. It tied in with the epic act of insanity known as Pancakes!, and may be relevant to the OFUDisc Files...
ISPCE, Protecting Elves Everywhere
Chapter 6: Fight For Your Life
The Ispace Wars
The Ispace Wars
The Ispace Wars is the sequel to OFUDisc - and to the original ISPCE. It can be found here.
Tuesday, 1 January 2013
OldFUDisc: Chapter 4
Please note: This chapter is presented here as an archive of OldFUDisc; it was written eight years ago and has no direct relationship to the current story. ~The Administrator.
Becky sat on the floor of the Great Hall, studying the bruises on her arm. They really were quite spectacular – she'd never seen bruising that spelt out the words 'HA HA HA' before. Nevertheless, she felt she had been unfairly treated.
She hadn't been one of the ones who had yelled in outrage when Miss Susan had announced that no lust objects were going to be on campus for the next few days. Sure, she might have mumbled a little, but that was no reason for that fat wizard – the one who kept yelling at her Ponder, his name was Ridully or something – to have picked her out to drop bits of ceiling on. It really was utterly unfair.
At this point, Becky noticed the groaning from around her, and realised that she had not been singled out. In fact, only two students remained upright – the one who had been pinned to the wall by Ms Raven, and a tall, pale girl in a frilly floral-print skirt and matching big-sleeved shirt, who seemed to be clinging to the pinned one for support.
Becky was just looking around to make certain no one else was still standing when Miss Susan's voice reached her ears. "Mustrum Ridcully, when I said 'Calm them down', I did not mean 'Shoot their heads off with fireballs'. Is this understood?"
Becky turned and stared in the direction the voice was coming from. The fat wizard who had been dropping ceilings on her was standing with Miss Susan. They seemed to be staring at something on the ground, and Becky realised with horror that it was, in fact, a student. One without a head.
"Now then, be fair," Ridcully was saying, "It was only one fireball. And that Huinesoron person did say that they were planning to get your grandfather to bring them back."
Miss Susan nodded, while Becky tried to remember exactly who her grandfather was supposed to be. "Yes," the headmistress said, "but I haven't been able to get in touch with him." At that point, she paused, turned to look into the space beside her, and said, "Until now, that is. Hello, Grandfather."
Becky blinked. There wasn't anyone in the space Miss Susan was talking to. Was her grandfather a ghost, or something?
Her musings were broken when the Ridully guy pulled out a piece of broken glass, attached to a bit of wood. This, Becky recognised. It was a piece of that omniscope that Ponder had broken – obviously he had done it deliberately, knowing that it could then be used for two-way communication.
Dr Huinesoron ran down into the Great Hall, slamming the door back and crushing a couple of students – the one who had tried to glomp him and her friend, a pair going by the names of Saphie and Andy – while trying to sort through a pile of paperwork at the same time. He found the sheet of paper he was looking for just as he reached the group of three Canons. Ignoring the headless corpse at their feet, he looked instead at the translucent figure attached to the body by a pale blue cord.
"Well now, Fawkes, you may have noticed you are dead," he began. The short girl nodded.
"Yes, Dr Huinesoron, sir," she replied in a high voice. "Er . . . am I going to be brought back?"
Huinesoron frowned at her. "Well, there's a slight problem with that. On your form you put down that you wished to be brought back as the 'Death of Fangirls'. Correct?" At her nod, he continued. "You do understand what this means? That you will be entirely responsible for returning your fellow students to life, or whatever state they desire, on each and every occasion that one of them is killed. You will likely lose sleep, miss out on lessons, and be feared by everyone. Are you willing to do that?"
The girl nodded. "Yes, sir. It's what I want, sir."
Huinesoron sighed. "Right, then." He turned to the dark figure beside him. "Milord, would you care to give her what powers she needs?"
CERTAINLY, replied Death, and leant over the body of the student. Huinesoron, Susan and Ridcully watched as the pale shade that had stood among them was pulled along the blue cord into her former body. The ashes that had once been her head coalesced, and after only a minute or two the girl sat up. Her red hair had developed a black streak down the middle – something Raven later declared to be 'a sign that narritivium has little imagination' – and one of her hazel eyes had turned blue. She looked around at the three Canons and the one Administrator.
Dr Huinesoron offered a hand to help her up – a gesture that sent his one fangirl, Saphie, who was only now recovering from being slammed against a wall, into a fit of envious rage – and handed her a sheet of paper. "This lists the requested post-death states of all the students in the University. You will need to stick to it exactly, or your powers will be revoked. You will not be provided with a scythe, as no students should be permitted to pass on completely. A black robe will be given to you if you require it."
Death seemed about to say something, but Fawkes got there first. "There's no need," said the new Death of Fangirls with a twinkle in her eye. She concentrated, and Huinesoron was shocked to see her clothes transform into something similar to Death's robe, but with the hood left down. After a moment to recover, he smiled.
"Excellent. We shall have to see about getting you a staff position once your time here is done." With that, he turned and left the room, pushing the door with Saphie attached against the wall one last time on the way out.
* * *
Yes, I realise it's been a while, but there's a new chapter.
I also realise that there's a lot of Cruelty To Students in here. That, of course, is the whole point.
Disclaimer: Dr. hS is ours. Becky, Saphie, Andy, Fawkes are ours now. No one else is.
hS
OldFUDisc: Chapter 3
Please note: This chapter is presented here as an archive of OldFUDisc; it was written eight years ago and has no direct relationship to the current story. ~The Administrator.
When Becky finally came round, her first coherent feelings were thankfulness that she wasn’t greeted by the fearsome visage of Granny Weatherwax this time.
Looking around she saw that she was in a large hall, with high ceilings and tall windows. Seeking around for someone familiar she saw Kisheara talking to a short girl with glasses and short brown hair. They were surrounded by a crowd of what Becky assumed were other students, some talking in small groups and some still regaining or yet to regain consciousness. Kisheara noticed that Becky was awake and beckoned her over for introductions.
“Becky, this is Cazzie, Cazzie this is Becky. Cazzie got misfiled - she was meant to go to OFUM but ended up here.”
Becky looked sympathetically at the confused-looking girl, who was currently glancing nervously at the luggages who lined the walls.
“Why don’t you just tell the course co-ordinators? I’m sure they’ll sort it out,” Becky commented.
Kisheara snorted and turned Becky to face the front of the hall. On raised dais at the front she saw some people milling around, she recognised the witches from the flight and – her heart skipped a beat – she thought she saw someone who could only be Ponder Stibbons standing with a group of wizards. Her legs automatically tensed to leap before Cazzie grabbed her shoulders to hold her back.
“Don’t,” she said, pointing to the large doors near the dais. Becky gasped at what she. A girl with frizzy hair and glasses seemed to be pinned to the door by her loose hippy-type clothing. Cazzie explained.
“I think she was sitting by that door with some other students, but I didn’t notice her until I heard her yell. She was running towards that stage-part and she looked like she was going to tackle that guy in black.”
Becky looked towards the dais but failed to isolate said guy in black.
“Who?”
“That one!” Cazzie pointed. “The one with black hair. Looks elvish.”
“Disc or Tolkien?” Kisheara asked.
“Tolkien of course! Noldorin, I think, but I can’t see if his ears are pointy.”
Suddenly both girls saw who she meant - it was the man who had been introduced as Dr Huinesoron. He was talking to a woman wearing a black coat over a red dress. Her hair was black and wound in a bun. Her hair, glasses and leather coat resulted in an image like a psychotic librarian.
“See that woman he’s talking to? I think her name’s Raven or something, anyway, when that girl started to stampede she pulled a crossbow out of no- where and shot it at her!”
They now considered this woman, and quickly rethought their strategies to gain the attentions of their Lust Objects. When strange women pulled out crossbows and pinned innocent fangirls to doors, it was not good. Becky wished that she had read more than the first five chapters of the Official Fanfiction University of Middle-Earth, as then she might have a better idea of what exactly she had signed up for.
All the students were by now awake and talking excitedly to each other while being careful to stay far away from the mini-luggages. The mini- luggages were not large enough to eat someone; they only came up to the average student’s knee. However, they were definitely capable of knocking someone over or taking a chunk out of their leg, and they were willing to do this by the way that they – Becky gulped nervously – they were licking their lids at the students.
Suddenly, there was a commotion at the front of the hall. The door opposite the one decorated with a student opened, and a woman stepped through flanked by mini-luggages. She wore a black dress and her white hair was in bun, though frizzy tendrils were beginning to escape from it. When she turned to look at the students a black streak was visible in her hair. Kisheara gasped in recognition while the other two just looked at her blankly. Becky was about to ask a question when the woman cleared her throat and began to speak. Due to the many students talking loudly, this was inaudible. She frowned, and then spoke again.
EXCUSE ME
That shut them up. Everyone in the hall ceased to talk and swivelled their head towards her, when she had everyone’s attention she started to talk.
“Welcome to the Official Fanfiction University of Discworld. I am your Headmistress, Susan Sto Helit, and you will address me as Miss Susan. Anyone who refers to me as ‘Susan’, ‘Susie’, or any other such name will be meeting my grandfather in short order. You have already met the course co- ordinators Dr Huinesoron and Ms Raven. They, myself and others will be teaching you the ways of the Discworld as well as how to actually write.”
At this point Raven went over to Susan and whispered something in her ear. Susan listened and then carried on speaking.
“Ms Raven has asked inform you of the standards of behaviour expected. As you can see,” she gestured towards the unfortunate girl still pinned to the door, “fangirlish tackling, glomping, stampeding, leaping, rushing or any other over-enthusiastic attack upon any members of staff or visitors will not be tolerated. You are here to learn how to write decent fanfiction, not to ogle your lust objects.”
Susan paused again then, and looked at the horde of almost drooling students before her. Why had she let herself be persuaded into this? Oh yes, she remembered - a chance to rid herself and the Disc of the scourge of bad fanfiction. That, and Raven had introduced her to Godiva and Thorntons chocolate. Chocolate. Susan had a feeling that she would be in need of a lot of chocolate before this lot had gained their certificates.
* * *
Look! We got our act together! Go us!
Now, onto the next chapter...
Disclaimer: Miss Susan isn’t ours. The Disc isn’t ours. Ponder Stibbons isn’t ours. They belong to the great and glorious Pterry. We are just borrowing them to play with. We promise to give them back..
hS and RF
When Becky finally came round, her first coherent feelings were thankfulness that she wasn’t greeted by the fearsome visage of Granny Weatherwax this time.
Looking around she saw that she was in a large hall, with high ceilings and tall windows. Seeking around for someone familiar she saw Kisheara talking to a short girl with glasses and short brown hair. They were surrounded by a crowd of what Becky assumed were other students, some talking in small groups and some still regaining or yet to regain consciousness. Kisheara noticed that Becky was awake and beckoned her over for introductions.
“Becky, this is Cazzie, Cazzie this is Becky. Cazzie got misfiled - she was meant to go to OFUM but ended up here.”
Becky looked sympathetically at the confused-looking girl, who was currently glancing nervously at the luggages who lined the walls.
“Why don’t you just tell the course co-ordinators? I’m sure they’ll sort it out,” Becky commented.
Kisheara snorted and turned Becky to face the front of the hall. On raised dais at the front she saw some people milling around, she recognised the witches from the flight and – her heart skipped a beat – she thought she saw someone who could only be Ponder Stibbons standing with a group of wizards. Her legs automatically tensed to leap before Cazzie grabbed her shoulders to hold her back.
“Don’t,” she said, pointing to the large doors near the dais. Becky gasped at what she. A girl with frizzy hair and glasses seemed to be pinned to the door by her loose hippy-type clothing. Cazzie explained.
“I think she was sitting by that door with some other students, but I didn’t notice her until I heard her yell. She was running towards that stage-part and she looked like she was going to tackle that guy in black.”
Becky looked towards the dais but failed to isolate said guy in black.
“Who?”
“That one!” Cazzie pointed. “The one with black hair. Looks elvish.”
“Disc or Tolkien?” Kisheara asked.
“Tolkien of course! Noldorin, I think, but I can’t see if his ears are pointy.”
Suddenly both girls saw who she meant - it was the man who had been introduced as Dr Huinesoron. He was talking to a woman wearing a black coat over a red dress. Her hair was black and wound in a bun. Her hair, glasses and leather coat resulted in an image like a psychotic librarian.
“See that woman he’s talking to? I think her name’s Raven or something, anyway, when that girl started to stampede she pulled a crossbow out of no- where and shot it at her!”
They now considered this woman, and quickly rethought their strategies to gain the attentions of their Lust Objects. When strange women pulled out crossbows and pinned innocent fangirls to doors, it was not good. Becky wished that she had read more than the first five chapters of the Official Fanfiction University of Middle-Earth, as then she might have a better idea of what exactly she had signed up for.
All the students were by now awake and talking excitedly to each other while being careful to stay far away from the mini-luggages. The mini- luggages were not large enough to eat someone; they only came up to the average student’s knee. However, they were definitely capable of knocking someone over or taking a chunk out of their leg, and they were willing to do this by the way that they – Becky gulped nervously – they were licking their lids at the students.
Suddenly, there was a commotion at the front of the hall. The door opposite the one decorated with a student opened, and a woman stepped through flanked by mini-luggages. She wore a black dress and her white hair was in bun, though frizzy tendrils were beginning to escape from it. When she turned to look at the students a black streak was visible in her hair. Kisheara gasped in recognition while the other two just looked at her blankly. Becky was about to ask a question when the woman cleared her throat and began to speak. Due to the many students talking loudly, this was inaudible. She frowned, and then spoke again.
EXCUSE ME
That shut them up. Everyone in the hall ceased to talk and swivelled their head towards her, when she had everyone’s attention she started to talk.
“Welcome to the Official Fanfiction University of Discworld. I am your Headmistress, Susan Sto Helit, and you will address me as Miss Susan. Anyone who refers to me as ‘Susan’, ‘Susie’, or any other such name will be meeting my grandfather in short order. You have already met the course co- ordinators Dr Huinesoron and Ms Raven. They, myself and others will be teaching you the ways of the Discworld as well as how to actually write.”
At this point Raven went over to Susan and whispered something in her ear. Susan listened and then carried on speaking.
“Ms Raven has asked inform you of the standards of behaviour expected. As you can see,” she gestured towards the unfortunate girl still pinned to the door, “fangirlish tackling, glomping, stampeding, leaping, rushing or any other over-enthusiastic attack upon any members of staff or visitors will not be tolerated. You are here to learn how to write decent fanfiction, not to ogle your lust objects.”
Susan paused again then, and looked at the horde of almost drooling students before her. Why had she let herself be persuaded into this? Oh yes, she remembered - a chance to rid herself and the Disc of the scourge of bad fanfiction. That, and Raven had introduced her to Godiva and Thorntons chocolate. Chocolate. Susan had a feeling that she would be in need of a lot of chocolate before this lot had gained their certificates.
* * *
Look! We got our act together! Go us!
Now, onto the next chapter...
Disclaimer: Miss Susan isn’t ours. The Disc isn’t ours. Ponder Stibbons isn’t ours. They belong to the great and glorious Pterry. We are just borrowing them to play with. We promise to give them back..
hS and RF
OldFUDisc: Chapter 1
Please note: This chapter is presented here as an archive of OldFUDisc; it was written eight years ago and has no direct relationship to the current story. ~The Administrator.
"Students? In my University?"
A large figure in red strode through the corridors of Unseen University. The large amounts of tasteless glitter, the thick beard and the tall, pointed hat marked him instantly as a wizard, and the crossbow shoved into the hatband left no doubt as to his identity - Mustrum Ridcully, Archchancellor of UU and head of all the wizards in the world. At least, those who knew he existed and were actually willing to listen to him.
Beside him, walking slightly faster to match his larger stride, came a raven-haired woman in a black leather coat. "That is the point of an educational institution, Archchancellor," she was saying, "So can't you see that it's important to educate these poor children?"
"Of course it is," he agreed, "just not here. Go and talk to those chaps over on Fourecks, I'm sure they'll love the idea."
"That's not possible, with respect, that's too far away from this city. And after all, we only want one wing."
Ridcully stopped and turned to face his companion. "My dear woman," he said, ignoring her bristle at being addressed as such, "it matters not whether it is one wing or even one room. I will not agree to any more students in this establishment."
"Having trouble, Raven?" came a voice from the shadows. The wizard and the woman turned to see a man, clad similarly to the woman addressed as Raven, step out into the torchlight. "Looks like I got here just in time," he continued.
"And who might you be, young man?" asked Ridcully. The newcomer glanced at Raven quizzically.
"You didn't mention me?" She shook her head, and he sighed. "Figures. I am Doctor Huinesoron, sir, and I am working with Raven on this project."
The Archchancellor frowned. "Then perhaps you can convince her to stop pestering me."
"Pestering? Oh, yes, that." Huinesoron thought for a moment, and then said, "Archchancellor, are you aware that the students we plan to bring in all believe your use of a large staff with a knob on the end is... compensation for a lack in another area?"
"WHAT?" The Archchancellor swelled up in indignation. "How DARE they? You bring them here, we'll show them the REAL use for these staffs! By the time we're through, they won't be able to STAND!"
"That's the point," said Raven, calmly. Ridcully looked over, and she continued. "Our University would embrace the Teachings of Miss Cam, especially in the area of Learning Through Pain."
"In fact," added Huinesoron, "we're hoping to make a deal with Death - through his granddaughter Susan, I believe you've met her - so that we can retrieve any students who... accidentally die during their education."
The Archchancellor pondered. Eventually, he agreed. "Hubwards Wing. Ask that cheese fellow - whatsisname, Wincerind? - for the key to the main entrance, I think he's the only one using it. And if I can help in any way with the 'pain' part, my door is always open." With that, he strode off.
The pair in black leather coats stared after him for a few seconds. The Doctor turned to his companion and said with an evil smile as she grinned back at him, "You go pick up the minis, I'll sort out the application forms, and I'll meet you outside Rincewind's office. The Official Fanfiction University of Discworld is ready for launch!"
* * *
Behold, the enrolement form. Sadly, we're up to our maximum number of students, so you can't use it. It's just here for entertainment value.
The Official Fanfiction University of Discworld
Enrolment Form
Erudition emensus adflictatio
Chosen Name:
Gender:
Species:
Age:
Generic Physical Description:
Lust Object:
Idol, in a non-lusting way:
Favourite Pairing:
Favourite Location:
Favourite Group of People:
Favourite Genre: Humour/Romance/Action/Slash/Other
Number of Discworld books read: None/One/Two/Many/Lots/All
Familiarity with Canon: Not really/Hell yeah/Better than PTerry's, whatever happened to Esk?
In the event of death, what form would you prefer to come back as? Ghost/Zombie/Vampire/Vampyre/Alive/Other.
Have you ever written a Disc Mary-Sue?:
Have you ever written a Disc Slashfic?:
Complete this phrase "Do not meddle."
Sign here .............
* * *
The OFUD claims no responsibility or liability for any or all injuries suffered, mental, physical, or terminal. It's your own fault for being such a godawful writer. Once term has commenced students will not be able to leave until gaining a certification of completion of the course or failing the course. In the event of death the student will still have to complete the course, just say hi to Susan's Grandfather. The certificate of completion is necessary for any writing of further fanfiction in the Discworld fandom. The decisions of the course co-ordinators are final and always right. Susan Sto Helit has the right to take any action she deems appropriate. By signing the form above you show acceptance of and agreement with these conditions.
* * *
Phew, finally the end. Disclaimer and all notes will be put down here, for ease of reading.
We don't own Discworld, it is the Great Pterry's.
We don't own the OFU idea. It belongs to the Great and Glorious Miss Cam, who can be found by the links on my bio page.
In fact, I think all we own is ourselves!
hS and RF
The Original OFUDisc
Back in 2004, the Official Fanfiction University of Discworld opened for business. Four chapters in, it was abruptly deleted from Fanfiction.net, and never seen again. The staff, as revealed in the revived story, simply jumped forward in time to the present in order to reboot the university.
Did I say 'never seen again'? Well, for Chapter 2, that's true. As for the other three chapters...
Did I say 'never seen again'? Well, for Chapter 2, that's true. As for the other three chapters...
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