Friday, 23 May 2014

Ispace Wars: Ladies' Academy - Magiseer Karisana

There is no end
And no beginning
We dare not voice
Our suffering

Harry Potter snuck through the corridors of Hogwarts muttering to himself about how HerMOANY Granger was insisting she needed his help because the House Elfs she helped were being scared by something which was all very well but Harry had better things to do like the date with Ginny he'd turned down to come and help HerMOANY.

It is not fair
How rough things are
We can't be happy
Not so far

When Harry reached the basement where HerMOANY was supposed to be waiting for him she wasn't there which wasn't a surprise because she was never where she was supposed to be although she usually sent a message and just as he thought that he saw a woman standing by the wall and said 'Who are you?'

It is quite rubbish
Being sad
I really feel
Pretty bad

'I am Karisana Villada,' the woman told him, 'and I am called the Magiseer which is a special title given to me by Dumbledor and also by the Ministry of Magic which means I am the most powerful wizard in the world though really I'm not that good and it was just a fluke which they thought was me being powerful which might be because Dumbledore is secretly in love with me.'

I wish to not be
Feeling rotten
Down in the dungeon
All forgotten

'Oh well then it is nice to meet you,' said Harry, 'and also are you here because HerMOANY sent you because I was expecting to see her to help her with the House Elfs who are being scared by something but she is not here and you are which means she probably sent you.'

Oh can it be
That my life sucks
When I would rather
That it rocked

'Actually it was me that called you down here,' said the Magiseer, 'because your friend HerMOANY is not actually your friend and she is really not trying to help the House Elfs she is trying to train them into an unstoppable army which will conquer Hogwarts and make the humans serve them which would be pretty terrible really because everyone knows House Elfs wouldn't be able to stand up to Voldemort when he comes back.'

Help me please
To feel a bit better
Because I am
Under the weather

'Well that makes sense,' said Harry, 'because HerMOANY is always going on about how terrible we wizards are to the House Elfs and how we ought to set them free instead of leaving them in their proper place which is clearly the better idea but HerMOANY doesn't listen when I tell her that and of course Ron is on her side because he's in love with her so there's no-one I can turn to to help me.'

What terrible luck
To be caught here
In a place where I
Would rather not be

'There is me,' said the Magiseer shortly.

Alas and woe
There's no escape
I will be here
Until my grave

'But how could you help me,' said Harry, 'except oh yes I forgot that you are the Magiseer and the most powerful wizard because I don't believe it was just luck but rather skill which is something that takes a long time to learn and means a lot only I still don't know how you can use it to stop HerMOANY from taking over Hogwarts with her army and also I don't understand why you would want to help me.'

Oh how sad
My life is
Trapped in a cage
Is where I is

'Because I love you,' said the Magiseer shortly.

Let me out
Or let me in
Just don't keep me
In this bin

'Oh,' said Harry shortly.

Help me now
Or help me later
Just take away
The cheese-grater

Then they kissed and then the Magiseer used her wand to create a wind of silver stars which led them deeper into the dungeons to where HerMOANY was training her secret army of House Elfs which saw Harry and the Magiseer and ran up to try and kill them which knocked Harry over so the Magiseer held up her want and shouted 'HOUSUS ELFUS DEADUS' and all the House Elfs fell over dead and so did HerMOANY and when they went over to her the Magiseer cast another spell saying 'DISPELLUS ILLUSIONUS' and it turned out that HerMOANY Granger was really a House Elf in disguise so then the Magiseer took Harry to the infirmary because he was unconscious and when he woke up they got married and after their wedding Dumbledor came to them and said that he understood and also that Voldemort was still out there and the Magiseer said 'I know but we can kill him using my magick' and then they thought about how to do that but that is a story for another day.

Disclaimer: All Harry Potter elements are the property of J.K. Rowling. This story, the 'song' in it, and the Magiseer, are entirely my own invention.

Author's Note: And thus, the Ladies' Academy for Mary-Sue Enrichment begin their attempt to distract Ispace from Princess Silverlocks III's infiltration effort. This plan can't possibly fail!

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