Ispace Wars: Ladies' Academy - Marchessa

Battle of the Heroes

In the benigging there were six tribes of elfs. They was the sun Elves the Wood elfs the Moon Elfs the See Elves the Drow elves and the Wide Elfs. And they were all in war. But hidden deep beneath the mountains of Faerun was a seventh typo of elf…

Drizzt Do-Urden was restlessly. The goddess Lolth had send him a message saying that THE DAY OF TH STARS IS COME and, he didn't know what it means. So he was hiding in the wood to try and not be found by anyon. But then a spider came in through the roof; and Drizzt knew it was Lolth.

"I know it was you, Lolth," said, Drizzt, while drawing his swords Twinkle, and Icingdeath and holding them at Lolth. "You can't not hide from me."

"But why do you think I am Lolth?" asked the spider, and it turned into… a Drow Elv! Then Drizzt said, "Gasp! But you are dead?"

"The ways of the Underdark are dark and mystery," said the Drow Elf. "It is I, your sister who is called Vierna!"

"But you are dead?" Drizzt repeated again. "I mean, I'm pretty sure I killed you."

"You did," Vierna agreed, "but now I am better again because of the magic of Lolth. And I have been send to give you a message, it is, THE DAY OF STAR HAS COME."

Ispace Wars: Ispace - Alteration

"This isn't going to work, you know."

Liliac scowled at the duck-billed platypus perched on a wall beside her. "Don't be such a pessimist, Platy."

The Noble Platypus waggled her beak. "I'm being a realist," she corrected. "Remember what happened when we tried to stop the rise of Slaneesh?"

Liliac winced, her left hand rising to touch the black-rimmed badge that commemorated the operatives Ispace had lost on that job. "We knew that was a long shot," she pointed out. "But we didn't have a choice. Before Aranel got the bridges working through OFU blocks, we needed the Eldar. That job was their price."

"It was too high," Platy said bluntly. "Kjersti, Blizz… they didn't deserve to die like that."

Liliac nodded, pulling her purple cloak tighter around herself. "No. But this isn't the same, Platy."

Maths Tests from the OFUs

Among the many, many (many, many, many) subjects OFU students are required to learn, mathematics is seen by some to be the most important. By 'some', we mostly mean 'Lord Elrond of OFUM', of course, but nevertheless.

For those students who may be slacking in their work, we provide here three maths papers for three different OFUs. Fail them at your peril.

Numerology 101 Pop Quiz (OFUM)

Mathematics for Goblins (OFUUnderground)

Mathematics Course (OFU-Squared)

Ispace Wars: Ladies' Academy - Giri

Giritinuvielwen – let's call her Giri, despite (or perhaps because of) the fact that this would give her conniptions – was unaccustomedly nervous as she stepped from the grass of Dalek-occupied Earth into the huge, glass-fronted building. She wasn't used to such trepidation, since she was a Mary-Sue, and therefore perfect in every way (including 'perfectly in control'). In this case, though, she wasn't in a story of her own devising, or one written for her. She was in the lobby of Dreams Come True, Inc, the largest and oldest surviving Mary-Sue Factory – and headquarters of the Venomous Tentacula's League of Mary-Sue Factories. In short, she was outnumbered, outclassed, and (she began to feel), hideously outdated.

The attendant behind the desk – a factory Sue whose creation had gone awry, one of the colourless creatures known as Defectives – listened carefully and with obvious disinterest to Giri's explanation of her presence. Then, almost Sue-like in her languor, she pointed down one of the Factory's many corridors.

"The Venomous Tentacula's office is that way," she said. "The others are already there."

"Others? What others?" Giri demanded, but the Defective didn't even bother to acknowledge the question. Giri thought about grabbing her, forcing some answers out of her – but no, wanton violence was Celia's field. Better to stick to her strengths: her brain.

Ispace Wars: ????? - Formation

“-ridiculous,” Dafydd snapped. “I was stopped by one of the Sub Rosa’s spies in Malijach the other day – me! Oh, he apologised afterwards, sort of, but do you know what he said? ‘We can’t be too careful’. To me!”

Narto listened, wide-eyed, as Dafydd continued to rant. Lou glanced up at the ceiling. “I thought you’d show up,” she murmured.

A door slammed somewhere in the Illian home, and a moment later Constance stalked in. “It’s confirmed,” she announced. “I checked with my sources, and-“

“Wait, you have sources?” Dafydd cut her off. “Where can I get some?”

Constance poked her tongue out at him. “Well, I talked to Steve, at any rate. Maybe if you didn’t drive all your partners insane…”

“Unfair,” Dafydd countered. “Not all of you are bonkers.”

Ispace Wars: OFUU - Gathering

Meduseld was dark when Dr Huinesoron pushed the door open, dark and cold – but not empty. Though the Riders of Rohan were gone – most of them to the Staff Section of OFUM – the Golden Hall was playing host to the Course Coordinators of the OFUs of the multiverse.

Miss Kat of OFUWho was fidgeting, as usual, though Dr Huinesoron doubted she’d ever occupied herself making chains out of discarded pieces of bridle before. Mr Allen and Miss Carol (IAHF and OFUH respectively) seemed moderately awestruck by the tapestries (one of which MBSFA’s Mr Ben seemed to be trying to take home). Mr Marty, also of MBSFA, was glaring at the fire and shivering sporadically.  And all of them, Dr Huinesoron noted with a suppressed sigh, had gotten there before him.

The door creaked as he closed it, and the Coordinators looked up (those that weren’t already paying attention). “Thank you all for coming,” Dr Huinesoron said. “This meeting was very short notice, and you all have things to do, so thank you for making the time.”

Ispace Wars: Ladies' Academy - Magiseer Karisana

There is no end

And no beginning

We dare not voice

Our suffering

Harry Potter snuck through the corridors of Hogwarts muttering to himself about how HerMOANY Granger was insisting she needed his help because the House Elfs she helped were being scared by something which was all very well but Harry had better things to do like the date with Ginny he'd turned down to come and help HerMOANY.

It is not fair

How rough things are

We can't be happy

Not so far