The Administrator
closed his laptop with a click and turned to face his last three students.
“That’s everyone else home,” he announced. “PPCers to HQ, everyone else to the
Real World. All vampires successfully de-vamped, everyone turned back to human
– even Traveler is no longer a box. Everyone except you three.” He grimaced and
rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I can’t say I’m happy about this.”
“I never imagined
you would be,” Iplis said softly. “But I’m not going back.”
“And I’m not
leaving if she’s still here,” Cazzie
added, glowering at the vampire. “You can’t trust her.”
“And I can trust
you? You’re a fangirl too,” the Administrator pointed out. He raised a hand at
Cazzie’s protest. “All right. I’ve allowed you to stay – both of you – because
you were closest to Liliac and our Death of Fangirls.” He glanced at the third
fangirl. “You, on the other hand, are here for the effect you have on Ispace.
But all of you are only staying because you could be useful – not because I
like you.”
“Being liked went
out of the window for me last night,” Iplis observed. “I’ll help you.”
“Yes, you will.”
The Administrator shook his head. “So here we are. I suppose you have
questions.”
“A few, yes,”
Cazzie admitted, glancing at her companions. “So Penny was right? We are in a story?”
“Well, yes and no,”
the Administrator replied. “Yes, you were written in, which is why things got a
bit confusing. Sorry about that, by the way.”
Cazzie shrugged.
“It didn’t affect me.”
“Oh, yes, the OFUM
misfile… well. You were all written in, yes, but what you did wasn’t written. That was all you. But… that’s why the distances
were messed up – why you never saw the other classes – why you were all girls,
actually.”
“I can’t say I
objected to that,” Iplis murmured, smiling faintly. Cazzie glared at her again,
and she fell silent.
“I guess you’ve
answered my second question already,” Cazzie went on as if Iplis had never
spoken, “which was if we were being mind-controlled. So… Liliac. She seemed to
know you.”
The Administrator
sighed. “Ispace… they didn’t used to be like this, you know. They were founded
by Glorfindel – you know, the elf? – and used to spend their time keeping
fangirls away from Tolkien elves. This whole ‘everything called an elf must be
protected from everything else’… I don’t know where that came from.”
“And you were a
member?” Iplis asked. Cazzie glowered at her, and then shrugged slightly.
“All right, I admit
it, I was about to ask the same thing…”
The Administrator
laughed aloud. “Stars, no! I was a sort of vigilante. At the time, you see,
Legolas was in the business of throwing pancakes at people, and-“
“Wait, wait.”
Cazzie shook her head. “Pancakes? Like… milk and flour in a frying pan?”
“That’s the one,”
the Administrator confirmed. “It’s a long story. But he had this group of
fangirls who used to help him out, bake his pancakes, that sort of thing.”
Iplis laughed, and
even Cazzie couldn’t keep from grinning. “Sorry – is that meant to be
innuendo?”
“Surprisingly, no.”
The Administrator smirked. “Not that they would have minded… anyway, I helped them out on occasion, and a handful of
them joined Ispace… I was at the Battle of Erebor, when the PPC and Ispace
stood together against the fangirl onslaught. Times have changed.” He shook his
head slowly. “So yes. Liliac knows me as Huinesoron. I was hoping she wouldn’t
recognise me as ‘the Administrator’, but no such luck.”
“Okay, that’s… kind
of a lot to take on board,” Cazzie admitted. “One more question – what do we do
now?”
“Now that you’ve
successfully forced your continued presence on me for the duration, you mean?”
The Administrator shook his head. “We organise. Like I said, I know Liliac –
she’s not going to stop at closing OFUDisc.”
Cazzie’s eyes
widened. “OFUM!”
“And HFA, and…
everyone,” the Administrator agreed.
Cazzie shook her
head slowly. “I would say I was confident Miss Cam could hold her own,
especially with the mini-Balrogs on hand… but I’d be lying. I’ve seen what
Liliac’s got to work with.”
“And if the
Headmistress can’t stand up to Ispace, who can?” the Administrator said. Cazzie
gave him an odd look, but said nothing.
“So we warn them,”
Iplis said firmly. “We combine forces so nothing
can get through – get ourselves time to think.”
“We’ve already made
some steps in that direction,” the Administrator admitted. “It’s sort of a
secret, because we’re still in the early stages, but we’ve started an Official
Fanfiction University of OFUs. My peers – the Course Coordinators – are the
staff, so it’s definitely opened communication links between the Fanfiction
Universities.”
“And Miss Cam’s the
Head,” Cazzie nodded. “That makes sense, given, you know, precedent. When you
said ‘Headmistress’ I thought you meant of OFUDisc,
which was weird, because that should be-“
“Let’s not get into
that,” the Administrator said hastily. “It’s a bit… well. The important thing
is that we need to contact the rest of OFU-Squared as soon as possible.”
“And then what?”
Iplis demanded. “You’ve seen their wormholes – they can strike anywhere. Even with help, how long can
we defend against that?”
Cazzie looked at
her curiously. “You’re scared?”
“No, I-“ Iplis
paused and sighed. “Yes. Terrified. Shouldn’t I be?”
“Maybe,” Cazzie
admitted. “And it’s a good question – what do we do when we’ve got the defences
up?”
“We take the fight
to them,” the Administrator declared. “I know where to find Ispace Mountain.
Once we’ve got a big enough army – of minis and canons – we go and knock on
Liliac’s front door!”
Silence. Then the
third student raised her hand.
“Um, question,”
Lindyellwen said uncertainly. “Does this mean I don’t get to see Verence
again?”
Disclaimer: All references to canons belong to their respective creators. The OFU concept was created by Miss Cam; all OFUs are the property of their respective authors. Cazzie, Iplis, and Lindyellwen are based on applications to OFUDisc. OFUDisc and Ispace are my own creations. All details of the plot are my own.
Author's Note: So here we are again. It's always such a pleasure! Ahem. Welcome to The Ispace Wars. This story is a sequel to The Official Fanfiction University of Discworld, which should probably be read first. It also constitutes a crossover/tie-in with the Protectors of the Plot Continuum shared universe; a brief description of the PPC, and links for more information, can be found here. The Ispace Wars will take place across the multiverse, but fairly large chunks of it will be in Middle-earth.
So here we go. Hold tight - it's going to be quite a ride!
No comments:
Post a Comment