Tuesday, 26 January 2016

News from the OFUs: The REAL OFUUnderground - News to OFUU

Miss Kaye lent heavily on her desk and glowered at the intruder. "You've found a what?"

Unfortunately, the intruder in question was named Sarah, and having fought her way through the Labyrinth to rescue her baby brother, was not particularly intimidated by a frizzy-haired girl who thought corset-print t-shirts were the height of fashion. "Another Labyrinth OFU," she repeated. "They call themselves the Labyrinth Academy."

"Hmph. They can't be much good," Miss Kaye sniffed. "They must have, what, a staff entirely made up of goblins and those weird pixie things that move floor tiles around?"

"Nope." Sarah paused, smiling slightly. "They've got the full staff. My... contact says their Goblin King gets stampeded regularly by fangirls and has a feud going with Hoggle."

"What." Miss Kaye grabbed a random sheet of paper off her desk, crumpled it up savagely in one hand, and threw it at the wall. As it bounced unheeded to the floor (to be collected by a small goblin who thought it the best toy she'd ever seen), the Course Coordinator stood up and strode out from behind the desk. "So Jareth is moonlighting, is he? I can't say I'm surprised; but Hoggle?" She shook her head. "So where are they hiding out? It's the oubliette, isn't it? It's always the oubliette."

"They're in the castle beyond the goblin city," Sarah said airily. "You're not getting it, Miss Kaye. They're in an alternate Labyrinth - another Word World, if I'm remembering what those PPC agents called it."

"What?" Now Miss Kaye looked bewildered. "I thought you meant... but we're official! Miss Cam herself gave me this role! What right have they to start there own OFU?"

There was a sound from the door - the sound of an incredibly suave ego-on-legs arriving. "It's hardly surprising," the Goblin King said, leaning against the doorframe and rolling a crystal across his knuckles. "It isn't as though our university ever opened..."

"We're getting there!" Miss Kaye snapped, then swallowed hard. "I mean... we're getting there, your majesty," she said in a much more controlled voice. "There are organisational-"

"Thirteen years," the Goblin King cut in, the crystal vanishing from his fingertips. "Thirteen years you have been 'getting there'. I don't usually allow visitors more than thirteen hours. My patience is... wearing thin."

"I understand that," Miss Kaye said, her voice subdued. "I... I'll speed things up, I promise."

"See that you do." The Goblin King straightened up, and his gaze latched on to Sarah. "Well, Sarah?" he said. "Shall we take our leave?"

Sarah didn't move for a moment. Then she nodded at Miss Kaye, turned, and hurried out of the door - the other door.

"Hm." The Goblin King looked at his fingers, as if expecting to see something there. "Well. Carry on, Miss Kaye." And, crossing the stone floor, he headed off after Sarah."

Disclaimer: Labyrinth belongs to Jim Henson. The OFU concept was created by Miss Cam. The Labyrinth Academy was written by Fou Fou. OFUUnderground is mine, and purloined from my wife.

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